you can't bound the sun away

the weather forecast told me to expect a storm coming, but i'm looking out my windowsill and watching the sun lean against the horizons shoulder. chills are sparking like cables throughout my limbs, and just as i lift my finger you come behind and hold me close.

"the sun isn't going anywhere" you would whisper, your lips grazing my ear.

and it was that moment you get every few seconds in a day, where you can feel the sun move out from the dark clouds and pour heat into your skin.
and it was that moment you get every few pulses in a lifetime, where you think to yourself awe-struck, "god, i fucking love this boy."

.

baby, what happened to us?

it's your cue to say, lovebug i just don't know.

.

you're opening my legs and dragging your lips across my neck and i can't help but think of all the ways i could describe this in the folds of my mind. you're moving your hands like you're directing a symphony down my body and i can't help but let my eardrums buzz and believe that if there was an orchestra making music based on us making love it would be beyond what any note or any word could mean.

and in retrospect, i wouldn't expect this to last for very long.

but right now our hearts and lips are everything but tired.

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i can't help but smell the scent of rain, it's coming.

.

it seems i've traced you moon-struck as you're softly lying beside me in the shadows of the night. your fingers are intwined in the hem of my nightgown and you're slowly brushing it across my skin and over me.

all i can see is white and the rush of your skin then your lips and your hips and moans and ecstacy oh and then and then the sound of rain.

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i'm shutting my eyes as all my fears come toppling down.

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time has stopped lurching infront of us, there are numbers formed so delicate in the air, it's like mist. i can see all of the times i choked on my lungs and quivered as i sobbed. i can see all of the times you looked right through me and looked for a fuck. i can see all of the times i should have thought lust instead of love. babe, time has stopped, and i'm wondering if it's really just us that has run out.

you're asking me what's wrong, what do you see?
and i'm pushing and pushing you away. my hands are the hands of the clock and with each tick i'm growing more fearful.

.

please, take it from my broken whispers, we're going to be late for heartbreak.

.

today the day sounds like a rainshower and footsteps walking away.
if you ask me what went through my mind, if you still don't know the answer to why i left you, maybe it's something you should never know.

i can't explain it, but as dawn shone in and the skyline sunk through my eyes i grabbed my umbrella and left a note.

.

i -


i miss loving you.

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you woke up to an empty side of the bed just a convexed pillow, a concaved heart.
you found a note, "look outside."
and when you did, you saw the sun had gone away.