i am
trying to pull myself away
from this feeling
that consumes me inside
your absence is in
every object that surrounds me,
entangling loneliness
in the air
its all i can feel.
the time rolls onwards,
and onwards,
dragging me along
as i wait, as i wonder.
(i just want you to
come back.)
you left without a sound by softsilhouettes, literature
Literature
you left without a sound
a saddening ache
is sifting through these
bones as i lay here,
trying to get the
darkness to shield my heart
from missing you.
let everything close off,
silence engulfing every
inch of my being. please
let me forget you. take
away the memories that
mark this soul. let me vanish
from existence to
not have to feel this. hurt running
through my body,
destroying
anything left inside that
you have not already touched.
let me fall away
give in to this pain, in
to you.
i am nothing, like you
once said.
nothing.
with each day i waste away
even more
bones become hollow,
my mind rots
even more
all feels dead to me
pointless
even more
fear twines itself
grasping hold
suffocating me
thoughts invade
what will i become?
what is happening to me?
what is wrong with me?
i hide away in darkness
behind closed eyes
all alone.
waiting to disappear
even more.
unravelling of mind and heart by softsilhouettes, literature
Literature
unravelling of mind and heart
it is not imaginary nor hypothetical,
in the belief of this love never coming back.
it's real, undeniable;
you don't want me, you don't need me
anymore. love waning as the seasons
pass beyond my skin. all has become so
oppressive; your words etching away
at my insides, consuming
every fragment of me. time
circling around me; i have
lost all sanity beneath
these bones.
realism vanishing; a thick dizziness takes over,
vertiginous motion. surroundings slowly meld into
an endless sky of silver engulfing
all that is in front of me. trees veer
back and forth throughout it; quivering as they
hover over my body. let out a sharp
there is a heaviness that won't seem to lessen, a sensation that won't seem to leave these bones. it twists within my soul, taking hold.
i lay and watch branches weave together in the evening sky outside my window.
an icy arctic dusk devours through what was left of the light,
fading away the sun's glitter that marked my shoulders. i lay and watch
my pale blonde hair dull to a silver, body turn cold.
moon glazing over amongst a starlit hour, trembling with me
as the truth sinks in, the pain begins to unfold itself
throughout my body, all goes out of focus.
where did everything go? it seems to be
that i have nothing anymore. warmth re
the power and glory by softsilhouettes, literature
Literature
the power and glory
you got what you wanted
you broke my heart, the truth of this
has been hidden inside me for too long. the ache
used to live solely in my heart, but now i can feel it
everywhere. there are no words that i can think of to describe
this pain, this loneliness inside of me. nothing will change
what has happened, nothing
will fill your absence or make me
forget you entirely.
you got what you wanted
for me to feel this abandonment, for me to realize i am nothing.
i am losing myself again, withering away from starvation.
imperfection so strong that i may never see any beauty in myself.
the voices tell me to keep my insides empty
the morning of blue by softsilhouettes, literature
Literature
the morning of blue
sadness pours through the air as the days coalesce, a thick grey dusk
hovering above the skeletal trees, this winter lays too calm and still for me
to not think about you, to not get lost in this emptiness. strange it is,
the sensation of fading, body submissive to starvation, becoming smaller
because i cannot stand to feel the weight of the present. i am imprisoned
in this shell of a human being, the person i have become has no soul anymore,
it died with the numbers, it left when you did.
i don't want to hear this heartbeat, as i drink my tea in burleigh china
i am the only one awake, watching an azure blue transcending onto the fur
i am
trying to pull myself away
from this feeling
that consumes me inside
your absence is in
every object that surrounds me,
entangling loneliness
in the air
its all i can feel.
the time rolls onwards,
and onwards,
dragging me along
as i wait, as i wonder.
(i just want you to
come back.)
you left without a sound by softsilhouettes, literature
Literature
you left without a sound
a saddening ache
is sifting through these
bones as i lay here,
trying to get the
darkness to shield my heart
from missing you.
let everything close off,
silence engulfing every
inch of my being. please
let me forget you. take
away the memories that
mark this soul. let me vanish
from existence to
not have to feel this. hurt running
through my body,
destroying
anything left inside that
you have not already touched.
let me fall away
give in to this pain, in
to you.
i am nothing, like you
once said.
nothing.
with each day i waste away
even more
bones become hollow,
my mind rots
even more
all feels dead to me
pointless
even more
fear twines itself
grasping hold
suffocating me
thoughts invade
what will i become?
what is happening to me?
what is wrong with me?
i hide away in darkness
behind closed eyes
all alone.
waiting to disappear
even more.
unravelling of mind and heart by softsilhouettes, literature
Literature
unravelling of mind and heart
it is not imaginary nor hypothetical,
in the belief of this love never coming back.
it's real, undeniable;
you don't want me, you don't need me
anymore. love waning as the seasons
pass beyond my skin. all has become so
oppressive; your words etching away
at my insides, consuming
every fragment of me. time
circling around me; i have
lost all sanity beneath
these bones.
realism vanishing; a thick dizziness takes over,
vertiginous motion. surroundings slowly meld into
an endless sky of silver engulfing
all that is in front of me. trees veer
back and forth throughout it; quivering as they
hover over my body. let out a sharp
there is a heaviness that won't seem to lessen, a sensation that won't seem to leave these bones. it twists within my soul, taking hold.
i lay and watch branches weave together in the evening sky outside my window.
an icy arctic dusk devours through what was left of the light,
fading away the sun's glitter that marked my shoulders. i lay and watch
my pale blonde hair dull to a silver, body turn cold.
moon glazing over amongst a starlit hour, trembling with me
as the truth sinks in, the pain begins to unfold itself
throughout my body, all goes out of focus.
where did everything go? it seems to be
that i have nothing anymore. warmth re
the power and glory by softsilhouettes, literature
Literature
the power and glory
you got what you wanted
you broke my heart, the truth of this
has been hidden inside me for too long. the ache
used to live solely in my heart, but now i can feel it
everywhere. there are no words that i can think of to describe
this pain, this loneliness inside of me. nothing will change
what has happened, nothing
will fill your absence or make me
forget you entirely.
you got what you wanted
for me to feel this abandonment, for me to realize i am nothing.
i am losing myself again, withering away from starvation.
imperfection so strong that i may never see any beauty in myself.
the voices tell me to keep my insides empty
the morning of blue by softsilhouettes, literature
Literature
the morning of blue
sadness pours through the air as the days coalesce, a thick grey dusk
hovering above the skeletal trees, this winter lays too calm and still for me
to not think about you, to not get lost in this emptiness. strange it is,
the sensation of fading, body submissive to starvation, becoming smaller
because i cannot stand to feel the weight of the present. i am imprisoned
in this shell of a human being, the person i have become has no soul anymore,
it died with the numbers, it left when you did.
i don't want to hear this heartbeat, as i drink my tea in burleigh china
i am the only one awake, watching an azure blue transcending onto the fur
losing everything i never had by softsilhouettes, literature
Literature
losing everything i never had
it's an early morning as the sun is rising, stepping into my mother's room and moving towards her bed, careful not to disturb the dark shadows on the walls, or the lulling silence that's filling the steps between us, i ask her when she wearily opens her eyes, "why was i born?"
her face held no expression, and she didn't reply
she didn't reply
i might as well not have gotten out of bed today.
i might as well be -
_____
and sometimes as i'm sitting in the passenger seat, i lose track of where i'm headed. i lose track of the fact that i'm moving, i'm moving somewhere slowly across a map. i'm moving with the world, and i'm just one person o